It’s time to update the blog. I have a love/hate relationship with blogging and with most things. It’s like loving to cook but hating washing dishes.
I’ll share the good times but I can’t share the rough, sad, disappointing times. It’s in my DNA. While growing up in a loving family, our biggest dysfunction was secrecy. Unfortunately sharing any struggles, loss, anger, sadness, or grief with the outside world was forbidden, only happy faces and good stuff was ever allowed outside the walls of our house. What’s wrong with that, nobody wants to hear or see your problems or tears, we’ve all got stuff we’re dealing with right? And damn it straighten your shoulders, walk tall and soldier on, this to shall pass.
Well this last year I haven’t soldiered on well and my shoulders are pretty slumped. I’ve done a great deal of thinking, both while battling depression and attempting to soldier on.
While doing this I tried to figure out 3 things. 1. Why after wanting to go full-time so badly, did I dislike it so much. 2. Why do I always feel so alone and unable to make true friendships and 3. Is full timing really an adventure or just an adult way to truly run away??
The next 2 postings will explore this, not just as a way for me to vent, but more of an open discussion that while we may think we’re downsizing we really don’t talk about, or even realize, the mental and emotional baggage we toss in that RV.
While I thought downsizing the material stuff was hard, changing a lifetime of habits was yet to come.